


Spider-man? You mean the dumbass that ran into a pole?

by ahhhhchoo



Series: Harley and Peter at the Avengers Compound [1]
Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Iron Dad and his Spider Son, Other, Peter likes being a little shit, The “teens and up” rating is only bc of the swearing, it’s only casual swearing tho, there’s no angst, this is just a funny drabble with a hint of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 09:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16302353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahhhhchoo/pseuds/ahhhhchoo
Summary: “‘Moving schools was tough, but it’s not that bad,’ Harley replied. ‘I’m still trying to figure out clubs and afterschool activities, though.’A loud clattering sound made Harley jump and he looked over to see Peter grinning widely at him, the Iron Man glove that he was working on laying forgotten on the floor.‘You should join the Spider-man fan club!’ Peter enthused.’”In which Peter finds talking about Spider-man with people who don’t know that he is, in fact, Spiderman pretty fucking hilarious.





	Spider-man? You mean the dumbass that ran into a pole?

Peter Parker had always loved talking about Spider-man with people who didn’t know that he was, in fact, Spider-man. It wasn’t that he liked talking about himself or hearing people talk about how amazing he was - no, he just thought that it was really funny. The idea of people ranting about Spider-man to his face,  _ especially  _ if they hated the web-slinging vigilante, without knowing that they were talking to Spider-man himself was fucking hilarious. 

Which is why, of course, that Peter took the opportunity to breach the topic whenever possible. 

“How do you like Midtown so far?” Tony asked Harley one Friday afternoon. Peter, Harley and Tony were working in the lab together on Tony’s Iron Man suit. 

“Moving schools was tough, but it’s not that bad,” Harley replied. “I’m still trying to figure out clubs and afterschool activities, though.”

A loud clattering sound made Harley jump and he looked over to see Peter grinning widely at him, the Iron Man glove that he was working on laying forgotten on the floor. 

“You should join the Spider-man fan club!” Peter enthused.

“The  _ what _ now?” Tony said, looking up in disbelief.

Peter started laughing. “I’m being serious, Flash is the president! The club meets every Tuesday after school.”

“Are  _ you  _ a member?” asked Tony incredulously. 

“No, but I do stop by sometimes. It’s a great confidence booster,” Peter added. “Even though Flash won’t let me stay too long.”

Tony frowned. “Why not?”

“Because, and I quote, ‘Spider-man is way cooler than Parker will ever be.’”

“That’s such bullshit,” Harley commented, “I doubt that  _ anyone _ in that fan club is as cool as a superhero.”

“Eh, whatever,” Peter dismissed, “I don’t even like Spider-man.”

“You don’t?” inquired Tony, raising an eyebrow. 

“Nah, he’s such a dumbass. Like, did you see that YouTube clip of him swinging straight into a pole? What an idiot, amiright?” Peter snickered. 

“Oh yeah!” Harley agreed. “And did you see the one where he tried to save a cat from a tree and it fell?”

“Exactly,” Peter said, shaking his head in mock disapproval, “the spider powers might’ve done good on his strength, but it left much to be desired in the brain area.”

“Okay, I think that’s enough,” Tony announced. “The poor guy’s not even here to defend himself.” He gave Peter a pointed look, to which Peter rolled his eyes. 

“I’m just speaking the truth,” Peter protested.

“Hey, it’s not like Spider-man is all bad,” Harley countered, setting down the coding he was working on. “He makes some mistakes, sure, but he’s got a good heart.”

“You think so?” Peter prompted, smiling slightly. 

“Well, yeah,” Harley continued. “He’s always out there risking his ass to save people he doesn’t know. He’s like, chaotic good.”

“Okay, fine,” Peter conceded, smiling a bit wider. “Spider-man is amazing, you win.”

“That didn’t take much convincing,” Tony noticed.

“What can I say, I don’t like to argue,” Peter lied. 

“Bullshit,” Harley called him out, not unkindly, “but whatever, Parker. Spider-man might be amazing, but you’re still weird.”

“Which is why I’m not allowed in the Spider-man fan club!” Peter pointed out, laughing again. 

“Knock if off, guys,” Tony reprimanded, half a smile on his face. “Less talking, more working on my suit. And, Peter, I saw you drop my Iron Man glove earlier, so you better hope that it’s not damaged.”

“Whoops, sorry,” Peter sheepishly apologized, picking up said glove off of the floor. 

So maybe Peter enjoyed being a little shit and maybe he didn’t do it for the compliments, but it was still nice when people came to Spider-man’s defense. After all, Spider-man was all about defending the people. 


End file.
